Love, grief, and faith

[Mary Leslie notes: I wrote this a couple of days after learning of my roommate's death in Maui, on her honeymoon. On the day that I was expecting her to return to Seattle with her new husband, I received a call that she had fallen over a waterfall & had been killed. Nothing has shocked me more in my life. - April, 2008]

My back hurts, I'm so tired.
Lord, the pain is deep…
Deeper than I've felt before.
I grieve for my red-haired sister
More of a sister than my own flesh and blood

But why do I grieve and hurt so deeply?
I know that my dear sister is face
to face with Jesus in Heaven.
I could never want anything more for her.

But the shock of her sudden death is all too much.
I don't want it to be true - I'm selfish Lord.
I had already made many plans for her and I.

Her bed, vanity, mugs, and food are still in my home.
Why did she leave her make-up and recipes?
A wedding gift from her Grandma has been delivered, as if
she will open it soon.

Why Lord? There were so many more times to spend together,
prayers to pray, and feelings to share.

Shine my Lord,
into this shattered heart.
Only your love can heal me.
Your peace can soothe my weary mind.

Strengthen my faith, give me new hope.
Fill my life with your love.

God saw that her purpose had been perfectly completed.
Her love, life, laughter, and work for the Lord was finished.

I must take what she has given me and serve the Lord with it.

Shine my Lord…. Shine through me.

... by Mary Leslie (1995)