Just Spice

Looking back on my life,
can I write about the past objectively?
It’s oddly attached to me.
When I think about it,
or begin to feel about it,
it weighs
the value
of my choices…

Like something on wheels
that I pull behind at the airport
and check through security,
and drag in and out of the overhead bins,
it complicates my trip to the coast.
I’d rather have it be just spice,
put in early,
unidentified in today’s meal.

Not seasoning that defines.
Not taken so seriously.
“Chicken Oregano”, “Sweet Basil Pasta”:
so pivotal to ordering.
Can’t one be happy
just showing up at dinner,
expectant but not weighing?
As kids we were, weren’t we?

So what if I’m a “mother”,
used, all these years, to mixing spices,
choosing nutritional value
and creating meals?
I’ll find back the habit
of just leaving my sandy suit
on the floor where I stepped out of it,
and showing up for the evening meal!


... by Barrie Smeeth (2008)