Mother and Daughter

[In an e-mail exchange, the poet shared the below poem with her daughter. - RocksWorks]

I’ve lost myself

somewhere in the airport
Ladies Room.
Many faces fill the wide mirror
but mine is not there.
I wash my hands and see
an old woman, once blonde,
squinting into my eyes.
She seems to be searching
for someone.
She leans in closer.
A weak smile tries to happen
on her face,
but it appears to disappoint her.
She turns from the mirror,
walks out the door.
Her flight is almost ready.

By Barbara Wolf (2006)

[Her daughter's return message on the morning of Monday, April 3, 2006 read, "That is the SADDEST poem. I hurt for you reading it mom. But I suppose it is true. But mom, here's my response." - RocksWorks]

Daughter's Response

You lost yourself
In the mirror
Somewhere inside the years
before you wrote the poem
When I watched you
Blond, slender, beautiful
Putting on your makeup
The mask in front of your mask
The one you reluctantly wore
To the dinner engagements
The company dinners
That took you hours to prepare for
Hours that when added up
Took years.
I remember your hair
Washed, ratted, flattened, curled, twisted, pinned, sprayed
Never right
You’d throw something down in pain
Saying, “I’m not going, Joe.”
“I just can’t go”
Always worried that you’d be judged.
Who was the judge then, my mama?
The one who decided your value?
Was it the Spanish Inquisitor?
The bank employee?
The young eyes around you in the classroom?
No, they all saw you, my mother, who I loved
And still love, exactly as you were
Exactly as you are
Long gray haired, soft skin, passion in your eyes
For the world of books and cultures and children
Throw away the mirrors, mom. When you die
I highly doubt that your last words will be, “I wish I’d looked better.”

by Linda Wolf (2006)
Learn more about Linda Wolf.